I always thought of myself to be lucky growing up in the family environment I did and with the added bonus of the rugby club, my ‘family’ continuously grew around me. When I was much younger I thought everyone else had the same experiences as myself and on Monday mornings at school I couldn’t understand it when classmates said they stayed at home all weekend and didn’t do anything. I remember asking them questions; you didn’t get all muddy watching rugby?, you didn’t roll down a bank or play in mud? you didn’t climb into the back of your gramps’s car and make him drive really fast over the speed bumps? In regards to the last question, it was probably a good thing they didn’t do it as thanks to the wonderful thing that is hindsight, it probably wasn’t very safe or more importantly legal. Every question was met with a no and I felt sad that they weren’t experiencing the things me and my siblings were.
When I went to University I realised I was from a ‘special’ place. A place that the friends I invited to visit ‘got’ but many wouldn’t. Our family and friends lived neatly inside a circle with the eye of the circle being the Rugby Club. This was great because there was no need to drive anywhere; something I only fully appreciated once of legal age to drink or drive (never together). I have seen people enter this environment and feel nervous/uncomfortable and I believe it is because of the mix of people; age is never considered. You have 16year old boys sat with the 1st XV, old and young mix, swap stories and drink all as one. You drink with your parents, their friends and it is not seen as strange.
Growing up, Sunday evenings were spent at Granny and Gramps’s house. Granny would cook the whole family a big Sunday dinner, get annoyed when the parents would arrive at 5:30-6pm not 5pm as arranged and while the parents were drinking, I instructed my siblings and cousins on what costumes we would we wear and the performance we would give. These Sunday dinners continued (thankfully not the performances) but after our Gramps died they stopped and this is when a new kind of Sunday was introduced and still adhered to now. Since then the typical ‘Taylor Sunday’ has often consisted of having one too many, getting home and ordering a curry with the excuse that we always preferred to have a Sunday roast on Tuesday. I don’t know if the last part is strictly true but that is what we have always told ourselves, and to be honest, it was a nice treat.
You might be wondering why I am sharing this with you, but today is Sunday 15th March, the first Sunday since we have been in lockdown. My Sunday’s in Italy are very different to those I spent at home. They now consist of a lazy morning, a walk in the park and watching a film or reading a book, receiving a video call off my Dad before making some tea and getting to bed at a reasonable hour (very grown up)! While enjoying my lazy Sundays, I notice the roads are quieter in comparison to the rest of the week because the only people travelling are those heading to their friends or families for a Sunday lunch. Shops are always shut and the pubs aren’t open so there is nothing to distract them from spending time with their loved ones.
If you aren’t already aware, the Italians are very family orientated and I have learnt from teaching they struggle to understand our relationships with our families (very generalised statement). When I say family, I don’t mean our immediate family but our aunts, cousins, cousins cousins etc. They don’t understand how we can go weeks without being in contact or seeing them and this is what has led me to this observation…
Where I live, the other residents in our block are considerably older than myself and flatmates and Sundays are often noisier due to all their families coming round for Sunday lunch. Over the road I always notice a family arriving at around 12pm and leave between 5-6pm. Children are always running and playing in the street, lots of hugs & kissing, the grandparents not going inside until the car is out of sight etc. But this Sunday is different. There are no grandchildren running up the stairs, there are no muffled sounds of laughter, games being played or a slight disagreement coming through the ceiling. I am sat on the balcony again looking at the empty houses- people not sitting outside on their balconies and there are no sounds of families arriving to hugs, kisses and people enjoying being in each others company. It is quiet and it feels empty.
Some of you might be wondering why if we have our permits, why can’t we visit others; friends, family members. Well, there is a rule that you are not allowed to have more than 3 people inside a flat the size I currently live in as you need to try and adhere to the 1 meter rule at all times. Also, it was reported in the Italian press this week that a group of 6 people were arrested due to not complying with the lockdown restrictions. They had headed over to a friends house to play cards, a member of the public overheard their conversation in the supermarket and reported them to the police. The reason for their arrest: their gathering was of no need and therefore expressly forbidden by the decree (enforcement of the lockdown). This means people are staying in their flats unable to spend time with their loved ones and the elderly who live alone are cut off from society.
The reason I am sharing this with you all is because whilst you are panic buying toilet roll, nappies, canned tomatoes and pasta etc. you are not thinking of the bigger picture. If you do head into lockdown (which from what I understand is highly likely), you won’t be sitting in your house thankful that you have 3 x 24 rolls of toilet roll in your house, or 15bags of pasta, you will be worried. You will be worried about your loved ones that you can’t see or help. You will be worrying about your job, money, your neighbour who might be living alone or the neighbour who is pregnant and about things that aren’t even important, and at times, you will feel really down for no apparent reason.
Lockdown is lonely! I saw an article in which Dr. Christian slammed Italy for announcing a nationwide lockdown suggesting that we are lazy and just spending our time sleeping. I want to reiterate that this is not the case. The Italian population is one of (if not the eldest) in Europe and there are people who are trapped in their homes alone. People are concerned about not having a job, people are not making any money, people are wondering how to keep their children occupied as we enter the fourth week of schools being shut. This is lockdown!! It isn’t a party but it is where worries consume you because you have very little to distract you (hence My Keeping Sane wall) and this is what I want to make you aware of.
Whilst you are still able, I implore you to put down the toilet roll and spend time outdoors even if it is raining, meet up with family and friends, take your grandparents out for a coffee, check in on your neighbours, do all the jobs you have been putting off e.g. bank, post office etc. because you may not have a chance if the country enters lockdown. Once you are trapped in your house you realise what is truly important and that is other people’s company so get it whilst you still can!!!
Desperately Seeking Alix 